Wednesday, August 6, 2014

MISTAKE


My confidence is in the lowest levels possible.

I was talking with someone about commissions and i said i would ask 20$ for a finished picture and he told me it was too much. Then i asked around how much does people would pay for my work and they say: nothing or 10$ as the higest price.

I never considered myself a good artist but i never expect my work was worth only 10$ to other people…

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

TASTING DEFEAT

Sheamus has been defeated and hes tasting more than the fist of his rival!!


 
I feel soo dirty!!!! Now i am drawing real life human beings!!! I wonder wath whoudl he thinks if he look at this. I hope he "likes" it and masturbate to it....

OK, stop thinking more dirty!!!! This is a gift for a friend who likes Sheamus. I never tough anythign naugthy about this guy before he told me but i had a lot of fun doing this!

Soo i been drawing again....or should i say, posting again. I really never stoped doing art. I draw a lot on the 3DS and my sketch books. I just didnt do anything worth posting at all. Soo wath happened? Well, i actually get interested in humans.

I notice i spent hours and hours and hours, literally, inside my room, drawing even in weekends at night. Theres nothing wrong with it at all, i actually love it. But also i kind of feel lonely, way way too lonely. Soo i decided to end my activitys and focus on writing, drawing on traditional media and also meet guys.

This sounds soo lame...but yhea, i felt like i was drawing the same guy, even if they characters i draw where totally different, i felt like i was drawing someone i wanted. I guess that happends with everyone who draws erotic.

Soo all this time i meet a lot of guys of all ages and styles and i leanr i am not meant to be with humans. I......really...cant understand them at all. I tough meeting guys would be normal but i am in complete oblivion about them. I have no idea how to even start talk to them:

I send them messages with a "hi, how are you?" and sometimes i send them messages triying to be original like asking them if i can draw them since they inspire me a lot. I get one reply out of ten messages.

They sometimes send me a message and ask for my wathsapp and they never talk to me ever again. I say "hello" and i get a "hello" back from them, i ask them stuff of theyr job or theyr home or hobys and they never talk to me anymore. Sometimes they block me as well. I even tried to date guys that i dont like physically (didnt wanted to be superficial) and i got just a big lack of interest from both sides.

One of them wanted to meet me soo we meet and he arrived with all his friends and made me feel terrible awkard. Some other one stoped talking to me in the moment i ask a date.The wolf guy i liked soo much stoped talking to me since i stoped sending him porn. I send them a lot of messages and i tire them, then i stop sending messages and they forget all about me.

I always tough the "dont worry, just be yourself" trick was the rigth answear but is not, being myself dosnt help me at all not a little bit.

The real answear to get love is actually being hunky, fit, handsome and sexy.

In a few words; i am extremelly tired to try to pick theyr attention dancing around and jumping like an idiot. Theres something missing my logic, i know. But to be honest i dont give a damn anymore.

I dont write this to get any sympathetic reaction, i just wanted to write it soo i dont forget it and to leet you peopel know that i am going to be back at posting artwork in regular basis again (as long as my OLD PC let me)!!!!

Saturday, September 14, 2013

9 YEARS LATER



Soo after almost 9 years, i been playing Resident Evil 4 again this time in HD in order to have a fresh look at this cult classic and milestone of the videogame industry

I have to say i hate it

The storyline makes no sence at all and is filled with stupid jokes form the 80s. Characters like Luis Sera dont do anything while Krauser do a lot without any reason behind it. Theres big plot holes (and Darkside Chronicles dosnt count since it was released many years later )

While the characters looks good, all the backgrounds are terrible bland and empty, all pixelated and perpetually brown. Its looks horrible compared to Resident Evil REbirth or even Zero

See Leon runing away of a giant mechanical midget was much more painfull than seeing Chris punching a boulder

I know is unfair to judge a game after soo many years. But honestly i was shocked and puzzled onto how or why humans liked Resident Evil 4 soo much when back then there where much better survival horror games aroudn like Fatal Frame 3 The Tormented or Demento

After soo many years i still cant find any charm in this. Evene the soundtrack is boring

Friday, September 6, 2013

TALKING IN SILENCE



I have soo much to thank you for.

I thank you for getting close to me.

I thank you for trusting on my and give me that chance to meet you.

I thank you for being always there with me, even if you where far away i never feel alone for an entire year.

I thank you for bring a smile to my face every single day i read you.

I thank you for being in my dreams.

You give me soo much and you probablly dosnt even know it and thats why i am strugling to let you know the truth. I once said the truth to someone special and that only bring pain. I dont want to live the same with you.

I´ll try my best to be the man i (we both) want to be. If i dont grow up already, maybe is best to say good bye for good.

I saw on you something that wasnt there at all and i thank you for that as well. For being a mirror and smoke, an illusion, you reminds me i still have work to do and i should be ready for it.


Maybe someday i am able to tell you all this and look at your eyes. Maybe is the best you never know all of this…

I CLOSED MY FACEBOOK

I was feeling way too bad to see how incredible gullible and innocent i am and i was strike by a punch of lonelines

I been spending time with the wolf guy and hes soo awesome, just look at him makes me soo happy but i feel i bore him as well. Also i finally have the confirmation that he dosnt act all cute and charming with me, he does that to pretty much everyone soo i just saw thing that never existed in first place

I had the feeling it was like that long time ago but being reminded about it was quite painfull

Thats the problem, i am suffering for him and i shouldnt

Its probablly time to leave him behind and not see him again. I know is not his fault either soo i dont know if i should tell him how i feel about it or just let it be

And how can i told him? I need a way to say it softly and in control and preferable indirectly and i dont know how to say it nor wath to do

Once i told a friend i loved him and the consequences where awfull. I am not going to do the same again

I dunno wath i am expecting to post this in here....i am not exactly asking anythign special i just had to write it somewhere....


I just need to man up i guess and concentrate all my efforts in the things that are worth worrying about and stop thinking on men for good

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

THE 108 DEMON BLADES

Soo its been a long time since i write something about videogames. The truth is that this year didnt had too much big games coming out for me...Metal Gear Rising was cool but ridden with disapointment here and there.....

And most rescently i was playing Final Fantasy XIII-2. I was able to snatch a Special Edition version very cheap ( 15$ ) and i am glad i get it at that price. I dont think FF XIII was a bad game...it just didnt release the full potential to it. FF XIII-2 for me was....boring...i spent 10 hours on it and i was faling asleep everytime i put the disc on the PS 3

Then i bougth a game for Vita, a small, obscure and unknown game no store seems to have and i was...soo blown away in every sence

Muramasa Rebirth 
This is supposed to be an "Action RPG" wich convine RPG elemnts like leveling up, equippment collection and status aliment, all mixed with an incredible frenetic and vicios fighting mode wich remidns me Devil May Cry...but in 2D with lots of exploration, big maps with hidden spots and toons of characters to interact with.

The top of the cake? An art design that is hard to belive. This game is like a moving painting mixed with dreamlike feelings. Is full of textures, the most amazing colors, the most surreal and beautifull scenarios and some of the most creppy characer design i seen

Is imposible to understand it until one saw it in action. The 2D art and animation blow away any 3D game i ever seen.

Its amazing, how such small, obscure and underground game can be this amazing of an experience.

On a side note i am playing Persona 4 Arena as well and its pretty much much much better than Injustice as well....

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

BABY DINOSAUR AHEAD

Ppppffff....its been a year since the last time i make an entry in here...i am beggining to think i should open a tumblr to start from zero or just revamp this place ....i really need a new design

Anyway, a couple of months ago i been sharing my place with a baby dinosaur thanks to my father. Its amazing how much times does animals take even if they are small. But even with the busynes of the day, i love this little guy a lot

Hes a predator and yet soo small and defenceless. His presence really relax me and keeps me company. Yhea, i know this is the first step to become the "crazy lady of cats" D: .....but i really enjot a lot the company of this little guy over humans latelly

Humans keep disapoint

And i will protect this little guy as much as i can!!